I got chris browned last night
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Randomize
