I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
