If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I'm always down for nudity.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
