i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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