he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
