Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
