Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
