My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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