You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
