it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I'm too high and old for this...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
