Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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