Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
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