your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I touched a dick in church today
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
