I am puke
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
where are my pants?
in the oven.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
