I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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