glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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