You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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