i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
