party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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