She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
