Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
