I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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