The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
