Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
