I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
