Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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