Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
