Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
