the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
