I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize