is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
