Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
