dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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