The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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