So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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