Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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