Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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