I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think my moral compass just broke
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