well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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