your parents love me but you hate me
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
