her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
