she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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