hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
