i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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