is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
