Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
it glows. i had to have it.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
