recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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