i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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