I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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