we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
