I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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