Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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