Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
