i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
