South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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