Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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