Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
