Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
