I hate all girls vehemently.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
i out mim tonsoeep
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
