Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
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