Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It's official drugs can't kill me
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
