is your mom at the bar?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
So squirting runs in the family.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
