Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
