make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
