so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
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